I shared some of my thoughts on how challenging sabr has been during our current pandemic in my entry for the Writing Category of AIKOL’s Got Talent contest at the end of last year. The topic was the Covid-19 Pandemic and now that we’re in our third year living with the pandemic, I believe the essay is still relevant.
It was the pitch of her voice, an octave higher than her usual melodic tone, that first rang alarm bells in my head.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she cried, her fast breaths piercing with desperation. “I’m done with being fermented in my own house.”
I felt my heart crumpling up in sympathy, in understanding but mostly, in pain. My grip grew tighter as my muscles argued between pushing the phone away and stuffing it into my ear. To hear the voice of my once exuberant and vivacious grandaunt in her despair, one year after Covid began was heart-wrenching. And I too crave the physical contact we were once blessed but never truly appreciated.
I wanted to reassure her. I wanted to hug her and look into her eyes and tell her that things will be well.
But all that came out was a feeble, “I know” and a silence that stretches as far as the distance between us. The electrical modulated sound waves made no justice to the iron weight of our emotions.
Just a year ago, she was telling me how grateful she was that she had been used to keeping herself busy at home. While there was an undertone of apprehension, she was still excitedly rattling off the list of needlework projects she was going to work on, and the skills she planned to teach her grandchildren. But after many lovingly crocheted ‘kopiahs’ and knitted bags had found their way to various friends and family; she too was feeling the dread of monotony and the feeling that we’ve all been trapped.
We were just two of the billions of others whose lives were scarred by the arrival of Covid-19, and with our families safe and sound, we were two of the luckier ones.
For all of us, when the Movement Control Order was announced, our palaces of comfort and respite were transformed into bar-less prisons overnight. We all knew that this instruction was made for our benefit; to keep ourselves and those we love with all our lives safe from the deadly virus. And yet why is it so hard to reconcile ourselves and be at peace with the knowledge that we are all being heroes to our community?
Of course, there are many opinions and professionally-conducted researches that had been done on this issue. However, I’d like to invite you to explore this question with me, an observer with limited knowledge but with a penchant for pondering, from the perspective of speed and impulse as well as the beauty of Sabr.
Speed and Impulse
In the age of globalisation, technology, and artificial intelligence, we could have all that our hearts desire at the touch of a fingertip. In the past, we had to travel the sea for months to get a taste of authentic foreign dishes. However, with the magic of the internet, our own devices could guess our preference, persuade us into making an order, and a tantalizing box of jeera rice and chana masala can reach your door in 30 minutes.
This advancement in technological communication and social connection has brought us many advantages and opportunities to society. Places of education that were once reserved in urban areas are now accessible virtually anywhere and anytime. In my life, during the day, I attend my university lectures with more than a hundred other people, scattered all over Malaysia, and at night I practice my Spanish directly with a Colombian teacher living in France.
The scale of our economic opportunities too has expanded beyond the geographical and societal barriers. Anyone can start up a new business and approach customers from all over the world through the magic of the Internet. Those with a creative mind and a keen eye are no longer bound to traditional investors to launch their project with platforms like Kickstarter and GoFundMe.
The term ‘The sky is the limit’ is becoming quite literal with the ability to communicate with anyone beneath the exosphere.
However, this digital movement is built on speed. Brands and companies are always promising that they can serve you faster than their competitors. They remind you that you have so much to do and that they’ll do the hard work for you. Just look at the array of instant food and services our post-modern world has to offer. And when you have the smallest amount of discomfort, you receive a notification of a sale with products that will relieve you of your displeasures immediately.
We are not given the time to think. Every offer has a deadline and every content begs for a reaction. We are encouraged to act on our impulses and are rewarded for acting on them with highly emotive content quickly racking up likes and shares on news sites and social media.
Braking at Breakneck Speed
We may not notice it but this convenience does not come without its drawbacks. We have become accustomed to this new standard of speed to the point where we unconsciously expect that we could achieve things quickly and efficiently. And it does not help that the capitalist market is taking advantage of our own psychology by tapping into our reward system and tethering it to their products.
We no longer feel a strong appreciation for all of the ease technology has given us. We expect to be constantly occupied. We rely on instantaneous communication. We crave pleasure and gratification approaching that of the ethics of hedonism.
This breakneck cycle of minimal effort and maximum reward is not a bonus for us anymore; it’s a necessity.
When the coronavirus began its ravage across the globe, slowly but steadily, much of the areas of our lives that we had been taken for granted had been brought to a stop. While the globalisation process had promoted democratisation of access in every part of life and the ideals of liberty; in the time of the pandemic, we were suddenly told “No.”
The shift was sharp in both its speed and magnitude. In a matter of days or weeks after the first signs of a local infection, we had to change how we work, how we socialize, and just how we live. Every single aspect of our daily lives had to be modified and restricted. There were limits to where we were allowed to go, who we were allowed to see, what we were allowed to wear, and even how we were allowed to sneeze. And this level of control is so detested by the people of today whose principles are built on personal freedom.
Essentially, the sudden removal of our many liberties was like ripping the needle that was pumping rewards into our veins at high speed without the lull of anaesthesia.
As our lives got more and more entangled in the web of technology, we are being bombarded with warnings and statements from experts on the risks of being too dependent on our devices. While physical risks like computer vision syndrome and sedentary lifestyle are known, many people are unaware of the silent, but just as dangerous, risk to our psychology.
Excessive screen time in children has been linked to mood swings, aggressive behaviour, and shorter attention span. Reliance on social media and mobile devices are shown to may have contributed to depression and difficulty to focus on tasks.
I personally find myself checking my phone even when I am in a lecture, with the anxiety of “did I miss anything important?” ever-present at the back of my mind. And when I do get a message that isn’t urgent enough to warrant an immediate reply, my mind keeps running back to it; drafting and editing a reply that correctly communicates my message while I missed half of what my teacher is telling me.
However, this isn’t to say that this speed in technology is all bad. As is proven in the peak of Covid 19, despite the fact that the world was trapped in a physical standstill, we could still connect to anyone from virtually anywhere in the world for a near-instantaneous conversation. Students were still given their rights to education through online learning. Freshly cooked food could still miraculously arrive at your doorstep within minutes without physical human contact.
Technology has brought us such a huge improvement in our quality of life, especially in giving some of the underprivileged a chance to reach into places beyond their economical or geographical means.
At the same time, we cannot deny the fact that video games are curating their codes to hack into our dopamine system. We need to be aware of how social media preys on our emotion, benefitting from our impulse and rewarding it with functions such as liking and sharing, further encouraging thoughtless behaviour. Texts are encouraged to be shorter and more emotive. Contents are suggested to catch audiences within the first 5 seconds.
This technology that has brought so many improvements into our lives is also keeping our emotions running on a never-ending treadmill. This lifestyle is not sustainable. It balances like an egg teetering on the edge of a horn.
The Beauty of Sabr
My earliest introduction to the word sabr was during one of my many childhood tantrums. When I wanted something, I was told to be patient. I was told to practice sabr. And for most of my childhood, sabr to me was a challenge against negativity. It was the remedy to emotions like anger and frustration about menial, unimportant issues.
But sabr is a lot more than just holding yourself back from losing your temper or being willing to wait for an eternity to receive a reward you may never see in your lifetime. And with impatience being a weakness of mine, I had to learn the hard way that sabr also means taking a moment to check if my assumptions are correct because I take action. That Sabr includes consulting with someone who knows better, in crises that I am not equipped to handle.
Most importantly, sabr is learning to appreciate both the rewards and challenges you encounter in life; to explore the beauty behind both patterns, and to grow into someone wiser than before. The Prophet Muhammad s.a.w. said, “Amazing is the believer, for whatever Allah decrees for him, it is better for him! If he is tested with a bounty, he is grateful for it and this is better for him; and if he is afflicted with a hardship, he is patient with it and this is better for him.”
In the hadith above, we are reminded that we should be patient when we encounter hardship and accept that Allah, the All-Knowing, has given us a path that is curated for our good. In the same sentence, one is said to be tested with bounty. We are encouraged to first take a moment to reflect and to praise Allah for His blessings. Neither goodness nor harm should be dealt with the impulsive attitude that our current technology is encouraging.
Sabr in the Time of Pandemic
For many people, Covid-19 is when they are pushed to their very limits. Employers are struggling to keep their business rolling behind closed doors so their workers can bring food home to their children. Doctors and healthcare workers are running around the clock to save as many lives as they could while still protecting their loved ones. Educators are suddenly forced to learn an entirely new medium while dealing with complaints and confusion from equally stressed parents and students.
Some families were pulled apart for more than a year without contact. Many left without a proper goodbye and would never again return. Others were tied together in a social dynamic that is so alien to their usual system that they broke down under stress. Very few people are left unscarred by the pressure of this pandemic. Our struggles may differ but one thing is true for most of us: our concerns and our worries are valid and legitimate
And in my humble opinion, from the short duration of life I’ve experienced, patience under desperation based on legitimate concern is the hardest form of sabr.
When we don’t have enough food to feed our family, when people are threatening to take away our homes and when our mother is struggling to breathe on the other side of the country; this is when we are most tempted with impulse and we look for someone, or something, to blame. Having something to blame will rationalise your emotions internally. It is like telling yourself, “I have no fault in this. I am right to feel this way. I deserve to feel this way.”
And without us realising it, we have been dragged from a completely legitimate concern down to the slippery slope of emotion, impulse, suspicion, and enmity. Even friends and family may not be spared from your su’u zon. You may see your once loving parents as now an invader of your privacy, your teachers being too demanding and inconsiderate to insist on turning on your cameras and your siblings’ heart are black with greed and hate as they disturb every single moment of your day.
For us Muslims, we need to always remind ourselves that first and foremost, we are sent to this Earth to worship Allah. Our faith, our din is the most important thing we have to protect under the maqasid shariah. We are living in dunya to prepare for our home in akhirah.
So, in every worldly concern, we must realign our compass back towards Allah. We cannot, should not, and must not let these legitimate but earthly worries be the rust that tarnish our hearts from our true purpose and our true destination.
This pandemic may be the worst in our living memory. Our quality of life may be in a terrible state compared to just a year ago. We may have lost so many people that we love and care for without the chance for a proper farewell. But be patient and have faith that there is relief in every pain; and turn to Allah in your desperation and your solace. InsyaAllah, our sabr will help us to strengthen our Iman.
– Surah Al-Insyirah, verses 6-8 –
“Verily, with every difficulty there is relief.
Therefore, when thou art free (from thine immediate task), still labour hard,
And to thy Lord turn (all) thy attention.”