I feel tall and big
I am now five
As tall as the big kids
My hand is in my dad’s
He push me
To the other kids
I join the lines
My first day of school
I feel special and happy
My parents are proud of me
Of the A’s on the paper
And the scores of nineties
I don’t really know
Why it is important
But I have worked hard
To get the first in class
I feel my knees melting
As I am climbing down
I gulp when I see mom
But she takes me in her arms
And I know that I did right
Stunned, I simply smile
I almost cannot believe that
I gave my first public speech
I feel my heart stop
I am not in the list
Did I fail the exam?
My teacher laughs at me
I feel blood gushing back
Only now I understand
I have been double promoted
After my first silat exam
I feel the warmth enveloping me
As I flick through the leaves
Of my diaries past
And read of my confessions
My failures and successes
My trials and ambitions
Time run fast as if
Every day had been a dream
I feel myself bump into the present
By the steady knock on the door
My sister once a baby
Now stands taller than me
Funny how at every frame
Of the film of my life
Affected me in such a way
That makes me who I am
I feel a mix of anxiety
At the anticipation
Of what is to come
The pressing question
Am I making the right choice?
For every deed shapes the future
Like the gentle breaths of wind
Moulding a mountain range
I feel the cold doorknob
Inside my firm grip
I open up the door
Wearing a little grin
My sister’s hand froze
In a half knocking fashion
I wonder if she ever notice
Of her own evulotion
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